Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Midsummer Nights Dream Alternative Version III This alternative ‘nightmare’ version of Midsummer Night's Dream runs at approximately 50 minutes, has a cast of 25, and a 'wicked' choice of music! This is the third in a series of scripts written by playwright Sue Russell - the first was for a small summer camp group (of 10), the second for an expanded cast (of 17), and this third for a cast of 25. Suitable for children and adults alike - let's hope your director has an easier time of it than mine (alias long suffering teacher!) Theseus: Are you referring to our night's entertainment, my dear? Hippolyta: If you can call it that! From what I've heard .. Theseus: (Interrupting) Ah, never judge a book by its cover! Teacher: (Raising his copy of Midsummer Night's Dream, above the covers) Indeed. You can say that again! Still, nothing's going to spoil anything tonight. Just as long as I stay awake to the end! (Bottom, bouncing onto the stage) Bottom: And we'll sure make sure that there's no falling asleep during our amazing performance! (Joined by Quince, Flute, Snout, Starveling and Snug) Bottom: Or should I say, my amazing performance! Quince: Now, now, Bottom! Remember what I said to you about team spirit! Bottom: (Tutting) Makes it sound more like a game of soccer! I prefer to think of myself as following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt, rather than David Beckham! Lysander: (Laughing) I'm sure either gentleman would be equally honored - to know who was following him! Demetrius: Of course! (Pointing at Bottom) What a fine figure of a man! Hermia: (Crossing her brow with her hand) I grow weak, just looking at him! Helena: (Pretending to faint) Such a man! Such a vision of .... Theseus: (Impatiently) Yes, yes. Could we leave the amateur dramatics to these 6 players please? Hippolyta: (Groaning) Something tells me, this is going to be one long night!

This Midsummer Nightmare II (alias Midsummer Night's Dream) is an extended version of the first one - Midsummer Nightmare. It includes the play Pyramus & Thisby and thus has a bigger cast and extended duration. Otherwise, it is exactly the same - sharing the same script up to Scene 6, and the same ending. Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 50 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). User Lu Jones has written the following comment regarding "Midsummer Night's Dream alternative: Midsummer Nightmare II": Love this quirky adaptation of one of Shakespeare's classics! The students love it as well! Sample Text Quince: Pyramus! Thisby! Kindly demonstrate for us how you use this worthy Wall! (Bottom and Flute stand on either side of Snout's Wall, and make exaggerated whispering noises through the hole) Theseus: (Appreciatively) Amazing! Hippolyta: (Sarcastically) Awesome! Bottom: You wait til you see us kissing! (Flute falls over backwards) Flute: Er, I don't think that will be necessary! (Bottom pouting, making ridiculous ‘smirching' noises through the Wall) Quince: Bottom! Maybe we should let the audience use just a little of their imaginations?! Bottom: (Sulkily) OK, OK. I guess I shouldn't give them too much too early on! I don't want to overwhelm them! Theseus: Quite so! The ladies can only take so much! Moving on .. (Bottom and Flute back to the Wall) Bottom: Thisby, my love! Flute: (High pitched) Pyramus, my love love! (To Quince, in normal gruff voice) How am I doing? Quince: Don't stop! Remember - feminine! (Flute flounces round to the other side of the Wall, Wall trying to block him) Bottom: Get back! Stay on your side, remember?! (Flute scuttles back to his side) Flute: (Squeaking) Here I am again! (Pauses, trying to remember his words) Er, em. Ill met by moonlight? Quince: Cut! Cut! We've already had that line! Hippolyta: Oh dear! It would seem we are still attending the rehearsal!

Midsummer Nights’ Dream Alternative version I Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 30 - 40 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). Written for cast of 10, 14 or 14 plus. Comprehensive production notes ensure an easy transition from small to large cast. This play does not include the play performed by Bottom, etc (for the Duke of Athens). This is because the script was originally written for 10. Another version, including this 'play within a play' is now available, called Midsummer Nightmare II, with cast of 17; and a third script Midsummer Nightmare III: 50 minutes, with cast of 25. Sample text Music 7 Michael Jackson's Thriller (Enter Oberon and Puck, doing own version of above song) Teacher: Oh no! Not that beastly song again! Oberon: Pardon! We happen to think we could out-dance those guys from Hollywood, inour wood, any day! Puck: Yeah! We don't even need to add makeup! Oberon: But shush! Who goes there? Our Athenian couple - restored to love? (Sounds of shouting) It doesn't sound very harmonious! Music 8 Beat It - Michael Jackson (Enter Demetrius and Hermia, singing and dancing to above) Hermia: So, what didn't you understand about (shouting) BEAT IT! Demetrius: But I love you! Hermia: Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, I will kill you! (Exit Hermia) (Oberon and Puck standing at side, making observations, unheard by Demetrius) Oberon: Something is very wrong here! Puck! (Grabbing him as he tries to make a quick exit) What have you done? Puck: Well, see, I gave those drops to some Athenian, as you said. But it was someother bloke, not this one! Did I mess up? Oberon: I'll say! Now we have two guys in love with just one girl. Go undo your mistakes. Find Helena! (Exit Puck) (Demetrius falls to the ground and starts snoring) Oberon: Now I shall anoint his eyes and make sure everything is all right this time! (Oberon squeezes drops onto eyelids of Demetrius) (Enter Helena) (Demetrius wakes up and beholds Helena) Demetrius: My love!

Macbeth - Villain or Victim? Shakespeare tragedy turned comedy? With a little help from McBinny, McGinnie and McNinnie (3 witches) Sue Russell 'turns things around' - following the original plot, but with countless laughs along the way! Duration: Around 15 minutes (not including music suggestions) Cast size: 27 Sample text: (Enter Lady Macbeth, reading a letter, letting out intermittent exclamations of joy and shock) Lady Macbeth: (Reading from letter) “they vanisht” … (Pauses) Witches, eh? My husband always did keep questionable company! (Reads) “missives from the king” … “Thane of Cawdor” .. “Hail, king that shalt be!” … (Pauses to reflect on what she’s just read) Well, well, well! It seems my husband has more going for him than I thought! Thane of Cawdor now, and soon to be king, no less! How’s that for quick promotion! Just as well he has an ‘iron maiden’ at his side! One who, unlike him, is not burdened with ‘human kindness’.(Aside) I shall make it my business to move matters along, as I see fit! (Enter messenger) Messenger: Excuse me, Ma’am. I am sent to inform you - The king comes here tonight. Lady Macbeth: At such short notice? And my lord? Messenger: He comes too! Lady Macbeth: (Dismissing messenger with a flick of her hand) Fair enough! And fare you well! (Exit messenger, bowing) Lady Macbeth: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. (Adopts warrior ‘posture’, bracing muscles and performing pretend sword fight) Farewell, Lady Macbeth! Hello warrior woman! (Macbeth enters, interrupting Lady Macbeth ‘in action’. Lady Macbeth ‘recollects’ herself, returning to former graceful ‘lady’) Macbeth: (Bowing) My lady? Lady Macbeth: (Spluttering) Who? What? Ah, tis you, my love! Fancy creeping up on me like that! You gave me quite a turn! Macbeth: It looked like you were having ‘a bit of a turn’ yourself! Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little … agitated!

Great Mysteries of the World Assembly In the hands of the great Sherlock Holmes, how can there be so many great mysteries of the world still unsolved? Read on! Cast of 30. Reading time around 10 minutes. Mysteries (7): • King Arthur • Building of Ancient Egyptian Pyramids • Stonehenge • Lost Minoan Civilization • Eldorado • Loch Ness Monster • Bermuda Triangle Sample Text: (Silence ensues as Narrator, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson await next ‘mystery’) Narrator: (Impatiently) Next! (More silence) (Narrator looks through his notes in agitation) Narrator: Now, let’s see. That Minoan Civilization! Where have they got to? Sherlock: Er, I think that’s just the point! You see, they disappeared around 1450 BC. Narrator: What do you mean, disappeared? Sherlock: (Mimicking waving a wand) Vamoosh! Gone! Narrator: OK so can we lose the crazy wizard act? Or did Arthur leave his Merlin behind? (Enter Arthur Evans) Arthur Evans: Well, luckily for us, much of the great palace at Knossos remained so we can at least find out lots about how the Minoans lived. Narrator: And you are? Arthur Evans: Archaeologist, Arthur Evans! Sherlock: Ah, an earthy detective! Arthur Evans: Yes, you could say that! Not afraid to get my hands dirty! Watson: All that scrabbling around in the ground – not quite my cup of tea! Arthur Evans: Ah but the rewards are great! To unearth all 1,500 rooms of that Minoan palace – to say nothing of the fact that Crete is a delightful Greek island on which to vacation! Sherlock: Hmm. I guess it beats the dirt and grime of our Victorian back streets! Arthur Evans: Indeed. And such a lovely climate. You know Narrator: (Interrupting impatiently) Gentlemen! Gentlemen! We are not here to discuss possible holiday destinations! What I want to know is, what happened to the people who built and lived in this great palace that you speak of?

Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!) Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down Duration - around 20 minutes. Sample Text: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette? Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon! Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes. (Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from! But do tell us about this cannon! Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest! (Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers) Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly. (Sound of noisy children) Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already! (Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously) (Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines) There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; She gave them some broth without any bread; Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful! (Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services! Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline! (Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly) Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman? Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children! (Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr! (Old Woman flails around with her stick) Where are the little blighters? Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!

Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage One Cast Size: 25 easily adjusted up or down (Class teacher taking role of Narrator) Duration: Around 5 – 10 minutes This assembly is based on 10 nursery rhymes and, as explained in the production notes, can be seen as a template - adding or replacing rhymes as you see fit. There is a longer assembly available (around 15 - 20 minutes) which has a choice of 20 nursery rhymes - this one is called Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version - and this could also be used by Key Stage II or used as a combined production, between both Key Stages - i.e. as a collaborative piece. Please note: the first half of the extended assembly uses the original 10 rhyme script i.e. just adds on. Sample Text: Narrator: What is that noise? (Enter cat playing fiddle, followed by cow holding moon; dog; and dish holding a spoon) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Hey Diddle Diddle, The cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon; The little dog laughed To see such sport, And the dish ran away With the spoon. (Exit cat, cow, dog and dish) (Everyone uncovers their ears) Narrator: Oh thank goodness for that. I mean, don’t get me wrong – we all like a little music … but not quite like that! (Enter Little Miss Muffet) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; (Enter Spider) There came a big spider, Who sat down beside her And frightened Miss Muffet away. (Exit Little Miss Muffet and Spider) Narrator: (Cowering behind children) Has it gone? Is it safe to come out yet? Whole cast: (Sighing) Yes. The spider’s gone, Miss! (Narrator returns to her former place) Narrator: Huh! Well, that’s fine then. (Pauses) Not that I was ever scared of that wee spider! Nah – just acting along with Miss Muffet there! (Whole cast look at each other, shaking heads) Narrator: (Coughing) Any how! Moving on. (Enter Old Mother Hubbard and her dog) Narrator: Ah! A dear old lady and her wee doggie. (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Old Mother Hubbard She went to the cupboard To fetch her poor dog a bone, But when she got there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. (Collective sympathetic sigh from the Cast) Narrator: Oh dear! Oh we can’t have that! (Narrator rummages around in her handbag and comes up with a bone) (Narrator holds up bone to dog which bounds over to Narrator in delight, barking happily, jumping up and down, and trying to lick her face)

The Queen’s 90th Birthday Party Assembly Special half price to celebrate Her Majesty's Big Day! Whilst 'gracing this assembly' with her presence, the 'party lady' seems just a little reluctant to join in the festivities. So what can our narrator and supporting cast do to change this situation? Well, did someone say it was Her Majesty's 90th birthday? Then, let's hear it for those 90 reasons to celebrate! Sample Text Music 1 Rule Britannia or Land of Hope and Glory (Cast files in with Music 1 in background; all take their seats) Music 2 National Anthem – God Save Our Queen (All stand up) Queen: (To Audience) Do be seated! Ah, how wonderful to be surrounded by my loyal subjects on my birthday! 90 years! Not bad, eh? Narrator: Well, some of us haven’t been around quite that long, your Majesty! But we are here today to celebrate your birthday with you! Queen: Oh I wouldn’t worry too much about that! Narrator: Oh? And why’s that? Queen: (Wistfully) Oh I don’t know. Once one has had as many birthdays as one has .. Narrator: You mean, you’re bored of birthdays? Queen: Well, I’m not quite the party creature I used to be! Narrator: Nonsense! And you know what? That’s what we’re here to prove to you today! Queen: Oh really! Well .. (Queen looks uncertain, shaking her head) Narrator: (To Cast) OK. Time to make Her Majesty’s day! Queen: (Sighing) You can try .. Narrator: Well, with ninety reasons to celebrate your birthday I don’t see how we can go wrong! Whole cast: (Exclaiming together) Ninety? Narrator: You heard! Ninety! And if we’re going to fit those ninety into the next (looks at watch) fifteen minutes, we’d better get a move on! Off we go! Queen: Well, you don’t mind if I make myself comfortable on this here throne? (Queen ‘settles herself comfortably’ onto throne) Queen: Ah that’s better. Do start! Narrator: Well, there are quite a few perks to being Queen, I think you’ll agree? (Queen nods) Child 1: For starters, you get to have two birthdays a year! Can’t be bad! That’s your real one on 21st April and another official one in June!

The Easter Egg Hunt Assembly for Key Stage 1 This is a class play/assembly lasting about 10 minutes, based on the same nine birds as used in the Key Stage II version but with a further 21 feathery friends to make up the numbers - to 30. Sample Text Rude Robin: (Huffily) And mine! Mind you don't drop it! Posh Pigeon: I'm sure you'll be delighted with this one! Polite Peacock: Please accept this. No need to thank me! Boastful Buzzard: Here's the best of the lot! Happy Hawk: Happy to be of service! Crazy Cuckoo: You'd have to be cuckoo not to take mine! Weepy Woodpecker: (Weeping) Oh woe! When will I see you again, little egg? Kind Kingfisher: There, there! (To Weepy Woodpecker) Here's another handkerchief for you! (To Clumsy Chicken) And an egg for you! Serious Stork: (Very seriously) Take great care! This is serious business! Pretty Polly Parrot: Pretty Polly! Pretty Polly! Here's a pretty egg for you! Flamboyant Flamingo: Here we are! My very best! Gracious Grouse: Please accept this! Cranky Crow: (Crankily) Take this! Can I go now? Bored Blackbird: (Yawning) Yeah! How much more? Thoughtful Thrush: Now, now! A little patience! I think you'll find we're nearly done! Dim Dove: Where did you want it? Loud Lark: (Shouting) Right there! In that basket! Here, watch me! (Demonstrating) Easy, huh? Outspoken Owl: About time! This is the last time I'm standing at the end of the line! Hoarse Humming bird: (Humming) Here you are! Miserable Magpie: (Whining) Last but not least! What a wait!

Easter Egg Hunt Assembly – Key Stage II Cast Size - 10 or 30 (short and long version within one script - as explained in production notes) or any number in between. The main characters? Clumsy Chicken, Tactless Turkey, Grumpy Goose, Daft Duck, Feisty Pheasant, Greedy Guinea Fowl, Sad Swan, Envious Emu, 'Onourable Ostrich ... and an Easter Bunny called Funny Bunny! A star cast! And with over 20 jokes (not all of them fowl!) - join the crew and find out if Clumsy Chicken can be saved from her fate - as roast chicken! Duration: 10 - 20 minutes. (10 minutes reading time; addition of songs/music takes performance to around 20 minutes) Also available to buy separately: Key Stage I version of this script - Clumsy Chicken is joined by 29 feathery friends! The perfect excuse for a mask-making extravaganza! These two scripts could be combined to add length to either i.e. jokes from the Easter Egg Hunt (KS II) could be added to the Key Stage I script; and additional characters from the Key Stage I script added to the Key Stage II script. Sample Text Child 13: How do you make a rabbit stew? (Pauses) Make it wait for three hours! Funny Bunny: (Holding up hands) OK! Enough! Child 14: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! Funny Bunny: (Angrily, and having a quick itch) OK! What didn't you understand about enough? Clumsy Chicken: (Jumping up and down, hysterically, on the spot) And I'm running out of time! Don't you see? If I can't give a basketful of eggs to the farmer, I'm .... I'm... Tactless Turkey: Roasted? I think that's the word you're looking for! (Clumsy Chicken clucks all the louder) Funny Bunny: Now! Now! Don't panic! Don't panic! I'm sure help is at hand (Enter Envious Emu and ‘Onourable Ostrich) Envious Emu: (Strutting angrily up and down) Do you know? That peacock bird has been getting right up my beak! All that (demonstrates) flouncing around with her peacocky feathers! It's enough to make you ill! ‘Onourable Ostrich: Now, now! You really should try to be less envious of others! Anyone would think your name was Funny Bunny: Envious Emu? Envious Emu: How did you guess? A bunny with brains! Fancy that! Grumpy Goose: Unlike this bird - with very little brain! Maybe it never made it to the top of that neck!

Easter Story Assembly Cast of around 30 Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time (this does not allow for changes of scene, music etc taking play to around 20 minutes) This Easter Story class play relates to all the major events: Jesus' jubilant entry into Jerusalem, Jesus' fury in Temple, Judas' act of betrayal, The Last Supper, Arrest in Garden of Gethsemane, Caiaphas' 'verdict', Roman Trial with Pontius Pilate leading to Crucifixion, Tomb scene and Peter's summing up at the end. The play begins and ends on a jubilant note - starting with 'Give me Joy in my Heart' and ending with 'Lord of the Dance'. SAMPLE TEXT: Scene 1 Jerusalem Music 1 (Child 1 and 2, Woman 1 and 2, plus lame child stand in a line, waving palm leaves over their heads, and singing chorus to the hymn, whilst eagerly awaiting arrival of Jesus. Standing to one side of them are two stern-looking priests, scowling in disapproval) (Enter Peter) Peter: (Addressing singers) Wow! What joyful music! Tell me. What are you celebrating? Child 1: Haven't you heard? Peter: Heard what? Child 1: Of the coming of the Son of God? Child 2: Of the King of the Jews? (Enter priest 1 and 2) Priest 1: Son of God, did you say? Priest 2: King of the Jews, did you say? Woman 1: Why, haven't you heard? It was prophesied He should enter Jerusalem, on a donkey. That's what we're all waiting for! Woman 2: (Holding hand of lame child) I'm hoping he can heal my little lad - that he can perform a miracle. Just as he has done for so many others! Woman 1: What a wonderful man! What power he has! (Priest 1 and 2 take themselves to one side, to continue their conversation between just the two of them) Priest 2: Who is this man who claims to be king and Son of God? Priest 1: And those ‘magic powers' of his? I don't like the sound of them, one little bit! Priest 2: What would our High Priest say? What would King Herod say? Priest 1: Guilty on two counts, me thinks! Priest 1: Blasphemy and treason! Priest 2: Let's hang around and see this king for ourselves! Child 1: Here he comes! Here he comes! Woman 1: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Woman 2: Blessed is the great prophet from Nazareth! (Enter Jesus. Walks along ‘crowd' of well-wishers, all waving palm leaves and singing. At the end of the ‘line', Jesus stands smiling, enjoying the singing)

Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly 'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status! Cast Size: 15 - 30 Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions. I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script! Sample Text Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show (Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre! Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me? Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk! Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go! (Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning) Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already! Narrator: About a king and a queen Wicked Fairy: Boring! Narrator: And their longing for a child! Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be? Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um.. Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’! Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up Wicked Fairy: And? Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me! Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche! Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse! Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now! Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!

Halloween Assembly Class Play: The Vanishing Pumpkin Customer feedback received 12.10.14 AMAZING! Exactly what I needed. Well written, funny and great suggestions for music. I’m using this with a class of 31 and the suggestions for adaptations were spot on. The class love it and are super excited for our assembly on the 30th of October. Thank you Cast: 30 (See Production Notes for smaller cast size) Duration: 10 to 15 minutes. The play can be extended by the addition of jokes Music 1 Disney Haunted House Judge 1: Welcome! Judge 2: We are gathered here to behold the year’s spookiest show! Judge 3: Our very own ….. Whole cast: (Shouting together) Halloween Talent Competition! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: Each year we have a different set of contestants – but all sharing one thing in common! They’re all All Contestants: (Yelling) Gruesome! Judge 2: That’s right! No prizes here for beauty – on the contrary… Judge 3: The more gruesome, the better! Judge 1: (Looking up and down the line of contestants) And I have to say, this year you have truly surpassed yourselves! Judge 2: (Nodding) Absolutely! Judge 3: What a grotesque lot! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: But are you truly scary? Judge 2: That is what will win you this coveted prize! Judge 3: A pumpkin – filled with every imaginable horror! (Each judge walks over and holds up something from out of the pumpkin, before dropping it back in again; the showing of each ‘exhibit’ prompting cries of admiration from the cast) Judge 1: A venomous snake! Judge 2: A warty toad! Judge 3: A blood-covered axe! Judge 1: Ah yes! There is something for everyone! Judge 2: But who is to be our champion this year? Judge 3: Let’s meet the contestants! Music 2 Witch Queen of New Orleans - Redbone (Enter 3 witches) Witches: (Together) We are the three witches of Macbeth! (Three witches recite 2 lines from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, whilst bent over a caldron) Witches: Double, double, toil and trouble Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Witch 1: Evil we look! Witch 2: Ugly we are! Witch 3: (All sweetly) Choose us, kind judges Witches: (Screaming together) Or we’ll have yaaaaaaaaah! (Witches race over to the judges, making menacing gestures) Judge 1: That’s enough! Judge 2: We will not be intimidated!

Guy Fawkes Assembly or Class Play The inclusion of a *mini play entitled The Trial of Guy Fawkes presents a ‘new take’ on history’s verdict – an interesting twist when the only witness is found guilty by the only member of the jury! i.e. Guy Fawkes walks free! This mini play has a cast of 6 and its inclusion is optional – the rest of the assembly focuses on the facts! Another ‘addition’ is at the end of the script where I have included a Fact File – which I thought would be useful (a) to add more facts to the assembly if necessary (perhaps if the mini play is not included) (b) as an introduction to the subject (c) as the basis for a quiz, to test the children’s knowledge. Hopefully, a pretty comprehensive package! *Guy Fawkes on Trial This is a short play with cast of 6. It could be used in the classroom or put on as a performance in front of the school, or used by a drama club. Sample text From Guy Fawkes Assembly: Duration: around 10 minutes Characters (Cast of 30) Narrator Children 1 -10 Guy Fawkes plus 13 Conspirators Cast for ‘play’ Judge (Guy Fawkes) Policeman (Witness) – see Production Notes Defense Prosecutor Member of the Jury Music: Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks (Children file in to this music) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our Guy Fawkes Assembly. Child 1: The music you have just been listening to is Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks. First performed in 1749 for George II Child 2: But more recently played, in 2002, in celebration of our present queen’s Golden Jubilee (Child 3 nudges Child 2) Child 2: Oh! That’s Queen Elizabeth II, of course! At Buckingham Palace – plus fireworks! Child 3: The earliest fireworks were made in China, around 2,000 years ago – otherwise known as Chinese crackers! Child 4: The first ones to be used in England were at the wedding of King Henry VII in 1486. Child 5: Fireworks became more and more popular Child 6: And King James II was so impressed by those used at his own coronation in 1685 that he had the guy in charge knighted! Child 7: Did you say ‘guy’? Child 6: I may have done. Why? Child 7: Not the Guy? Child 6: What are you on about? Child 7: (Shaking his head in disbelief) Only the most famous Guy in our entire history! (Guy Fawkes steps forward) Guy Fawkes: (To Child 7) Thank you! That would be me! Guy Fawkes! (Whole cast applauds and cheers) Narrator: (Disapprovingly) Only the most infamous Guy in our entire history! Guy Fawkes: (Looking hurt) Ooh! That’s a bit harsh!

Bonfire Night School Assembly or Class Play This short assembly, The Hidden Gunpowder, celebrating Bonfire or Guy Fawkes Night, teams Guy Fawkes up with the local fireworks - helping each other out .... with their annual ordeal! Duration: 5-10 mins (up to 15 minutes with optional inclusion of Safety Guidelines, as dictated by 'Fireworks') Cast of 30 Narrator Fireworks 1-9 Sparklers (5) Bangers (5) Catherine Wheels (5) Rockets (5) Music 1 - Royal Fireworks Music - Handel (Music 1 as background music while children file in) Narrator: Good morning! And welcome to our Bonfire Night Assembly! (Everyone slouching, with miserable expressions) Firework 1: So. Here we are again. Firework 2: Same thing every year. (All Fireworks demonstrate a firework exploding into the air, creating a magnificent display, then dying) All Fireworks: (Together) Voompf! Pow! Zap! Fizzle ..... Firework 3: And then it's all over ..... for another year. Narrator: Hey! What's going on here? Or rather, what's not going on here? I've never seen such a sorry looking bunch of fireworks! Firework 4: Huh! You want to try being a 30 second wonder! Firework 5: It's just not fair! All we're asking for is a decent amount of party time! Firework 4: I mean, who can enjoy themselves in 30 seconds? Firework 5: That's no party! (Enter Guy Fawkes) Narrator: Ah! Mr. Guy Fawkes! Welcome! Perhaps you can cheer this miserable lot up! Fawkes: What? They're not moaning again, are they? (Turns to Narrator) You know something? I get this every year - it's a wonder they ever ignite! Narrator: That's what I was thinking! Fawkes: Anyone would think they had a hard life! Now, take me for example. Just look at what I have to put on? Just the oldest, shabbiest clothes nobody else would be seen dead in! Firework 6: And when you consider the number of people who come to see you .... Firework 7: Even if it is just to gawp at you burning up on top of that bonfire .... Firework 8: It just isn't right. Firework 9: He should be given a decent suit to wear! Fawkes: Too right! Why should I be dressed up like a scarecrow when I'm the main attraction? All Fireworks: (Together, angrily) Now wait a minute!

Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden Assembly Class Play for 7 – 11 year olds: Key Stage II This is the second in the Biblical Banter series – a script that has been written in 2 versions, for both younger (5 – 7 year olds) and older (7 – 11 year olds) children – both versions available separately off the website. Please note – this script is for the older age group. The writer, Sue Russell, has to date written three other scripts in this series, including The Creation, Noah’s Ark and Jonah and the Whale. Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time - double this for inclusion of songs/music. Cast of 30 - though this could be reduced right down to 5, as explained in Production Notes (only 7 actual speakers - rest part of Animal Kingdom, Circle of Life, routine) Interesting choice of music - including Barbie Doll and Something Wrong in Paradise ..... not forgetting, of course, ..... Temptation! Sample Text: Music 2 Temptation – Heaven 17 Serpent: Good day to you! So (hissing) nice ..sss sssssss to meet you! Adam: A pleasure to meet you too. (Looking up into the branches of the Tree of Knowledge). So is this where you hang out? Serpent: Oh yessssssss. Nice ..sssssssss, issssssssn’t it? God: Hmm. Very pleasant. But of course this tree is quite different from every other tree in the garden. Eve: Oh really? And why is that? God: (To Adam) You mean you haven’t told her yet? Adam: Oh, I was just getting round to it! God: (Angrily) Just getting round to it? You need to get round to things around here a lot quicker than that …. Or you’re going to get into all sorts of trouble. Monkey: (Aside) What was I saying? Eve: So, what is it with this tree? God: This tree just happens to be the Tree of Knowledge – of good and evil. Eve: Ooh. I don’t like the sound of that last bit. God: It’s not a ‘bit’ you have to worry about … (pauses) but a bite! One bite of one of these apples … (pauses) and you’re dead .. or as good as! Eve: Dead? God: Correct. Kerput! They are forbidden! Forbidden fruit, get it? (Adam puts his arm reassuringly around Eve) Adam: But don’t you worry your sweet pretty head, Evie! There are plenty of other apples and fruit to eat from, in this garden!

Jonah and the Whale Assembly Class play for 7 – 11 year olds - Key Stage II This is one of the Biblical Banter series. The writer, Sue Russell, has to date written three other scripts in this series, including The Creation, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and Noah’s Ark. Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: Speaking time around 15 minutes. This does not include a great playlist of 10 songs which could potentially double time of performance to 30 mins at least! Sample Text: (Sound of thunder and lightning) Captain: Whoah! What was that? Sailor 2: Sounded like thunder and lightning to me! Sailor 3: Oh oh! That’s not good! Jonah: (Nervously) What do you mean? Sailor 4: He means, there’s a storm approaching! Jonah: Oh, that’s all right! I’ve brought an umbrella! (All sailors laugh) Sailor 5: Er, you’re going to need a little more than an umbrella if this storm takes a hold! (Boat starts rocking furiously, as sound of raging wind gathers momentum) Sailor 6: Whoa! Hold on everyone! Sailor 7: We’re in for a rough one! Jonah: (Holding his stomach) Oh dear, I’m beginning to feel a bit queasy! Sailor 8: You’ll be feeling more than that if you don’t get a move on and help! (Everyone rushes around trying to tie things down; storm continues to get worse and worse) Sailor 1: My! This is some storm! Sailor 2: We’ve never had one like this before! Sailor 3: Something tells me someone on board has brought with them more than a little bad luck! (All sailors round on Jonah) Jonah: Who? Me? Captain: Tell me again why you wanted to join my crew on this trip? Jonah: (Spluttering) I, er, well, it’s like this Captain: Come on man, spit it out! What’s your real story? Jonah: (Sighing) OK. I suppose you deserve the truth. You see, I was running! Sailor 4: Running? Sailor 5: Away from what? Jonah: Away from my God. (All Sailors groan and clutch their heads) Captain: Well, that explains it! Had I known, I’d never have allowed you on board my ship!

Educate Against Hate Assembly This script is suitable for secondary school children – possibly for upper end primary; but I think given the subject matter it is perhaps appropriate for a more mature age. The main focus is that of promoting the bigger picture in schools to our children so that they are not taken in by the 'smaller picture' and/or swayed by the dogmatic views of extremists. I would like to stress that this script is not intended as a ‘piece of politics’ but as a message of common sense. Cast Size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration Around 10 to 15 minutes. Sample Text: Child 21: But how do people get so hoodwinked into listening to this stuff? How can they not see what is going on? How can they be so misguided? Child 22: Because they are vulnerable. That is why these extremists choose them. They pick on people who have not had the education to question what is put before them. The extremists know this. They know full well that faced with a bit of rational questioning they would be shown up for what they are. Child 23: Complete and utter frauds. Narrator: That is why education is so important. Hopefully if you give children the bigger picture, they will see what is wrong with this smaller one that is being offered. Child 24: You will never remove evil from the world completely. Child 25: There will always be those who seek to exploit the weak, who trade on others’ unhappiness. Child 26: Which is why we must stay strong and protect those who need protecting from these evil people. Narrator: That is our job as educators. To give children the big picture and provide them with coping mechanisms when things look bad. Child 27: Yeah. You can’t go through life in permanent sunshine. Child 28: And some do undoubtedly have a much tougher time than others. Child 29: But bowing to evil, to the demands of extremists? Child 30: That is not the answer. Narrator: We have to show a united front (pauses) knowing that good, through education, will prevail over evil in the end.